As 2009 comes to a close, like many bloggers take the time to reflect upon the past year and share some aspirations for the coming one. As ‘different’ as I tell myself I am, I too will tow this line.
It was a big year for me. I took my first big trip to Mexico, received my B.F.A. from the Emily Carr University, had my first art show, experienced encouraging feedback with my band Jackie Treehorn (Upcoming cross Canada tour 2010 and a new website this new year!), participated in my first ayahuasca ceremony, traveled across the USA with my two favourite men, attending Burning Man for my first time, and finally kicked my nasty smoking habit after 13 years. Its been a year of new experiences as well as a lot of insecurity and dawning of new realities. I’ve been out of the safe loving arms of academia for under a year and have been feeling pressured to take the next step into the right direction. But what is the right direction for an artist? Art school gives you the sense of working on your craft, developing a practice and seeing the results through deadlines and critiques. Without the structure provided, I feel like I’ve been flailing. Yet, in reality I’m testing the waters so to speak. I’m considering the options available for one who holds a Bachelor degree in Fine Art. I have been volunteering in a high school classroom with an Art teacher to get a sense of what that is meant be like, as well as working for Alan Storey, as his personal assistant. I’ve been hosting Art evening’s in my living room and I’ve taken a few jobs in the decorative art’s industry as a faux finisher. I am also considering becoming an Art therapist for those who suffer from mental illness and drug addiction but I’m hesitant to get back into school because I just need to take a break from it. I also feeling I should be applying to Call for submissions, and also searching out artist in residencies, but I seem to be coming up with many reasons not to apply; no studio, no money for big projects, and no interest.
My heart holds me still. It tells me to wait to make any decisions. This year has been a dramatic one and I should take sometime to relax and see what the Universe tells me to do. It doesn’t seem to be pointing in any particular direction as of yet. If anything, it seems as if my band is warranting a lot of my attention. We have been made the house band of Nyala Restaurant and we play every Wednesday night. The weekly gig has made all seven of us consider the potential of the project. With the weekly dedicated time and money that Nyala has afforded us means we will be ready to record an album soon, prepares us to set tour dates across Canada and has given as all a swift kick in the ass. Maybe I could put “career’ decisions off for a while and see where Jackie Treehorn can take me? All the memories and experiences I could have on tour as the lead singer of a band has seduced my fantasies a bit as well as taking a stab at writing and developing a stage persona is very intriguing. Not to mention how great it is to be singing again, and with 7 very talented, supportive and professional musicians. (I was kicked out of my first band in high school because they didn’t want a female lead singer…it will be sweet revenge if they could see me now.)
In the New Year I hope to have a clearer picture of what I am meant to do with my time on this earth. Caroline Myss, medical intuitive and spiritual teacher, states in her lecture “Being Fearless” that by asking the mystical question “what is my purpose?” you rock the heavens and initiate a series of events which aids you to find your purpose in life. Please check out more of Caroline Myss’s kick ass lecture here;
So, for the beginning of this year, I will be seeking heaven’s advice, and waiting for instruction.